Session 3: Constant Vigilance! Velociraptors are sneaky creatures, don't you know?

Recap:
We go into the tomb of Ozymandias.
Kheriim finds a secret tunnel.
This tunnel is cold, dark, and leading downwards.
It gets both colder and darker.
Suddenly, we are attacked! by a Grave Wolf.
This happens at approximately the same time we come upon an open chamber, size unknown but large enough that a globe light (radii of 20 feet) does not illuminate the sides.
Apparently, where there is one Grave Wolf, there are two more you missed on the spot check.
We do brave battle! And eventually prevail!
Although not without complications:
Leif hits Halden with an attack spell (as well as a wolf). Bad Leif!
Moving on, we come upon an ice golem guarding a giant door.
Janan attempts to be diplomatic.
This does not work.
We start fighting with it.
This does not work either.
Luckily, we all survive and manage to take the golem down, mostly due to Admiral Ax's higher level and Leif's early-spent rune attack.

Notes:
Leif is a terrible brother. D:
Grave Wolves come from up north, where they are said to haunt the houses of the dead. When Grave Wolves die, they dissipate into a cold mist.
Arguing with a construct such as a golem is akin to arguing with a calculator, and as futile.
Janan crit fails way too often.
Halden & Leif are likely to kill each other in future sessions if there is not an intervention of some kind.

Quotage:
"That is vague enough for me to approve!" -Qwerty, Commandant Blank, re: Sigrid's definition of tariff

"He says he'll totally tone down the border actions if you tone down the piracy." -oddysey, re: npc Giant ambassador from the Diamond Throne

"If it makes you and your brother feel better, I totally have a lock of each of your hair, so I can always bring you back" -Artemis, Sigrid
"...thanks, mom."-Oddysey, Halden

"I will give monkey comrade little push up!" -Qwerty, Stavros, re: lifting Ax for gliding purposes

"Was that in my fake Australian accent? NO. Therefore, out of character"-me

"I'll take rear guard. Velociraptors come from the outside."-PitrsApprentice, Admiral Ax

"I do not understand the ways of northerners yet, but in my homeland, we would not call this very cohesive group."-Qwerty, Stavros

"What are you talking about? The jungle is full of dungeons!"-oddysey, re: some player comment
"Haven't you played Diablo II?"-qwerty

"You don't cast magic missile at the darkness!"-qwerty re: Leif's protestations of total innocence though he totally almost killed his brother

"Don't do that! Velociraptors attack from the outside! have you never heard of a ranged weapon?"-PitrsApprentice, Admiral Ax
"I've *heard* of them, but they're for posers."-Oddysey, Halden

"The more you are speaking the less I am being inclined to believe you"--Qwerty, Stavros, re: Janan's "explainations"

"I'm going to give Halden CPR." - maggienotmegan, Janan
"He doesn't need CPR!" - Artemis
"But he does need restraining." - Pitrsaprentice, Admiral Ax
"I can do that!" - maggienotmegan, Janan

"What I'm wondering is how I survived gang life in Khorl..."-maggienotmegan, re: Janan's fail!stats
"Apparently they're not very badass in Khorl."-Artemis

Session Summary in Song & Quotes

Session Three Quotes:

Out of Character:

"Did you have no personality? Er, the other way around?" - Maggienotmegan, in reference to Spock in the pilot episode.

"We've got low levels to take care of the ship, and not get taken over by monkeys" - Artemis

"Um, I think we're past that point." - Qwerty

"What about being taken over by monkeys? Says the monkey?" - Pitrsaprentice

"Was that in my fake australian accent? No.... therefore it was out of character." - maggienotmegan
"Bear in mind that wolf three is immobilized" - Pitrsaprentice
"Bears? wolves? what!" - Qwerty
"What are bears?" - Pitrsaprentice
-later-
"Oh" - Pitrsaprentice(not entirely sure on the in-characterness of this one. Qwerty wasn't speaking in character, and I'm not sure how confused Pitrsaprentice was)
"That's #1 and #2?" - Oddysey
"No,that's #1 and Halden" - saganatsu
"Halden at half health" - Artemis
"Yay! And he's next to a wolf he can't see! And it's the wolves turn!" - Oddysey
-later-
"Oh good! He rolled max damage!" - Oddysey
"It... disappears in a puff of smoke." - Oddysey
"Ice smoke." - Qwerty
"No more wolf corpse?" - Maggienotmegan
"No." - Oddysey
"No wolf corpse to loot?" - saganatsu
"No." - Oddysey
"No caltrops? no wolf pelts?" - Artemis
"No." - Oddysey
"No random silverware or napkins?" - Qwerty

"I don't need to roll for that. It's there!" - Artemis (referencing Fire Elemental)

(looking at character sheet) "What I'm wondering is how I survived gang life in chorral." - maggienotmegan
"apparently they're not very badass in Chorral." - Artemis

"I gave halden use rope! he can do that!" - Artemis
"So halden is our dungeon bitch?" - Qwerty
"But I gave him 'getting into trouble' stuff." - Artemis
"Yeah, exactly!" - Oddysey
"Oh god." - Artemis

"If we get trapped we can just use the farspeaking amulets." - Qwerty
"You really want to call your mom to bail you out?" - Artemis (to saganatsu)
"Well Ax could just call Blank, his boss." - Qwerty
"Yeah, call blank and say "everybody's dead". And then not respond. Because I'm dead." - karen

"So when should we run away?" - Qwerty
"How about before we're blinded?" - Qwerty (shortly after being blinded)

"I'm going to give Halden CPR." - maggienotmegan
"He doesn't need CPR!" - Artemis
"But he does need restraining." - Pitrsaprentice
"I can do that." - maggienotmegan

In Character:

"Oh that's what a tarrif is? Oh! I got it confused with the one where you kncok them unconsious, tie them to their boat, chum the waters, and sink their ship! " - Qwerty, Commandant Blank

"I do not fully understand the ways of these northerners, but in my homeland, this would not be considered a very cohesive team" - Qwerty, Stavros

Session One Tracks:

1. Elgar - Pomp and Circumstance (Sigrids Summit)

2. Andrew W.K. - It's Time to Party (Blanks Party)

3. Beastie Boys - (You Gotta) Fight for Your Right (To Party) (Sigrid breaking up Blanks Party)

4. Kings of Leon - Sex on Fire (Janan + Fire + Sex)

Session Two Tracks:

5. Electric Six - Danger! High Voltage (Again, Janan + Fire + Sex)

Session Three Tracks:

6. Matt Uelman - Cave (From Diablo 2) (Tomb of Ozymandias)

7. The Prodigy - Run With The Wolves (Fighting Grave Wolves)

8. SSX - Slayboarder (Fighting Ice Golem)

I'll continue the tracks as the progress, and then present a final, edited version (as some tracks will be removed or condensed, possibly)

Diplomatic Log 2

Contact was made with the representative from Chak Itzin, one Ket Takchitan. Discussion was limited due to representative being more concerned with potential retribution from Thunder God, than with real diplomacy. If assistance were offered to the priests of the island, the opportunity might present to gather further, detailed information. Alternatively, the representative could be presented to Thunder God in hopes of gaining favor with that faction.

Having witnessed a discussion between the Commandant, Lady Sigrid, and the Diamond Throne representatives, reanalysis of early estimations is required. No knowledge of basic terms i.e. "tariff" was shown by Commandant. Sinking of vessels was implied in his understanding of said term. Suggestion of power struggle may simply have been combination of drunkenness and gross ignorance on part of the Commandant. Further investigation is required for definitive conclusions to be reached.

The Lord of the Empire has remained absent for the majority of the summit. If rumours of his failing health prove founded, our timeline may have to be moved up. The death of the man currently attuned to the Heart would of course leave no choice but to move immediately.