Friday, August 14, 2009

The Final Session: In Which We Decide Future Events


So, as everyone knows by now, this campaign is hereby ended, due to lack of time and DM burnout. However, we did continue the storyline in our last session (7/30) and came up with a projected future series of events. Herein lie the accounts of the various invasions of the new Hora Quan Empire.

Also, guys, as I plan to write up Janan's crazy crossdressing lesbian romance at some point, I'd really appreciate it if y'all could forward me any extra campaign/world info you have. Metagaming for the win!

What Was Happening Behind the Secretive, Secretive Scenes:

The Diamond Throne was approaching Freja, offering to set her up as Empress of the Hora Quan in return for her basically being their puppet.
Anika was off being Robin Hood? or is this a future event?
Janan was actually a girl!
Blank was planning a possible coup, if necessary. (Read: if Leif takes over.)
Sigrid was getting really sick of all this political bullshit and she and Ganan were thinking of just leaving for another plane.
Leif was conniving with Kheriim and by extension Kaperi.
Halden was actually a drunken idiot!
Er...Ghalib still didn't care about anything but the library and his family.
Cho Dan (?sp) made overtures towards Leif, who was considering forming an alliance with them.
The Harrid are thinking of invading Xanadu. More magic to eat!
Stavros is ready to be allies with anyone who will help against the Harrid. Various people try to take advantage of this.

What Would Have Happened:

Sigrid and Ganan leave. (Yes, I know she was planning on sinking the island, but let's just forget about that for the sake of the plot, alright?)
The Giants invade! with Freya as a sock-puppet sort of ruler.
Leif ousts the Giants with the aid of Cho Dan.
The Harrid invade EVERYWHERE.
(cue battle with clockwork army!)
Anika forments a rebellion in Diamond throne territory.
Blank is the mastermind behind the rebellion in Xanadu, supposedly led by Halden.
Mihal catches up with Janan. They help with the rebellions, traveling around and having their EPIC CRAZY ROMANCE. (ahem.)
Eventually, the forces of Good (or at least the protagonists) prevail! Halden and Anika jointly rule over the Diamond Throne & Xanadu. [PLOT HOLE OF GINORMOUS PROPORTIONS BEING THE HEART OF THE SEA GODDAMN IT I NEED MORE INFO FROM ODDYSEY GRAR] Blank is Commandant! And not only owns the whole ocean, but EVERYTHING.
It works out well for everyone who doesn't die a terrible awful death at some point.

RL Quotage from Friday, July 30th:

"Giant squid are well known for their arrogance." - Oddysey

"Sean Connery is pretty delicious." - Qwerty

"You hate the Grand Canyon? What did the geographical feature do to arouse your ire?" - Oddysey, to Artemis

"At least I win a moral victory." *pause* "By which I mean an imaginary one." - Oddysey

Monday, July 20, 2009

The Bearverine is finished!

The Clockwork Bearverine is finished. While there were some delays in the development cycle, and a suboptimal initial field test, it is finally done. All that's left is to go to Sigrid and Gannon and receive the funding for the mass production versions. While they have rejected all previous designs, I see now that that was because they were inadequate and woefully amateurish. -- Soern, confident and excited.

Saturday, July 18, 2009

Session 7: In Which Halden Spends Quality Time With His Grandfather, And We Learn Our Lesson About Dark Magic Tunnels of Doom

  • We sleep on the beach (with watches! to keep away dark forces of deathly doom!) to regain spells, etc.
  • Third Watch: Aed & Janan hear a bizarre shriek. Aed wakes Stavros and Janan sneaks off to investigate.
  • We hear the shriek again. (ohnoes!)
  • Janan approaches the ocean and finally recognizes the sound, remembering that it is mating season for the eels of Gorzam.
  • The following morning, Aed teleports us back to Xanadu.
  • While arguing what to do about ded!Halden, we are noticed by guards, who, naturally, notify Sigrid of the crazy people carrying the prince's corpse!
  • She is Not Pleased.
  • Soern cannot revive Halden until the following day, for unspecified spell slot related reasons.
  • Halden LIVVEEESS! But is not stumbling around in search of brains, only in search of beer.
  • We then go to Gorzam in search of Blank (teleportation instead of tunnels being seen as the better part of magical travel).
  • Uncle Grisby's Tavern!
  • Uncle Grisby has no knowledge of Blank's current whereabouts.
  • We know that Blank and Sebastian set out for Gorzam at the same time but on different ships. Blank & co. never arrived, but Sebastian did.
  • We find this suspicious, and go talk to Sebastian.
  • Apparently, according to Sebastian, Blank got distracted by something and said that he needed to go do something else.
  • After some somewhat confusing discussion, we go off to the Pirate's Cove (with passwords provided by Sebastian) to rescue Antonio, one of Blank's Admirals and Sebastian's younger brother, from the bad!pirates (i.e., the probable rum smugglers who are not honest enough dishonest men to put their dishonest drinks on the honest black market!
  • Janan, forgetting about the passwords, attempts to charm his way in.
  • This fails.
  • In a way that should classify it as a total!fail (TM).
  • Kheriim attacks one of the two guards, then Stavros attacks the other one, engaging us all in battle. One guard manages to call for assistance, so then we had to fight those too.
  • We defeat them: yay us!, and decide to let them live if they promise to become honest fishmongers. (Why yes, Kheriim was the one to check their motives. However did you guess?)
  • We then go to get Antonio from his cell with their admittedly coerced assistance.
  • After locating Antonio, we also locate R(?what's his name?) the leader of these dread rum smugglers. Kheriim sends an elemental into his room to wake him up (really, with the way she summons these fire elemenatals, you'd think she and Janan would be better friends...) and after he is chased out of his bedroom by fire! we interrogate him.
  • While talking, R says it doesn't matter if we kill him because "Don Maurice" will resurrect him.
  • He refuses to answer any further questions so we decide to forcibly take him back to Xanadu.
Most Skaraavan women are actually "men," where "man" means someone who has been horribly subjugated for at least a year and then escaped on his own and killed at least three dread magic-eating birds with his bare hands.

"There is sprite at the end of the tunnel!"-Foole, to Artemis re: her thirst on the way to D&D

"THOSE are the shrieking toads. They always croak louder when they're about to feed..."-qwerty, re: cryptic comments between maggie and oddysey regarding what turns out to be the shrieking eels of gorzam

"You can't argue statistics with an angry mother."-foole & qwerty to oddysey re: her rational arguments against Sigrid's rage at Leif and everyone else

"I can be a pirate!" -Artemis, Kheriim

"You know, bondage is a good look on you."-me, Janan, to a shackled Antonio

"Oh!I know that game!"-Artemis, Kheriim, re: mind stab
"That's not a game."-foole, Aed
"It's an excellent game! Verrik children play it all the time!"-Artemis, Kheriim
"..This explains so much."-me, Janan

Soundtrack Continued

Session 4 Tracks:

9. Hans Zimmer - Two Hornpipes (Tortuga) (Gorzam)

Session 5 Tracks:

10. Nine Inch Nails - Vessel (Janan + Halden + Sex)

11. Haley Bennett - Entering Bootytown (Khorl)

12. J.S. Bach - Toccata And Fugue in D minor (Temple of Evil)

13. Nobuo Uematsu - Darkness of Eternity (Fight song for the skeletons)

Session 6 Tracks:

14. Ricky Martin - Cup Of Life (Cup of Life/Death/Prophecy)

15. Warren Zevon - Mr. Bad Example (LEIF KILLS HALDEN)

Session 7 Tracks:

16. Klaus Badelt - To The Pirates Cave! (To the Pirate Cove)

Friday, July 17, 2009

Alastor's Domain

Many years ago, a human named Halas Torstead was made a god. The circumstances of the how and why have long been lost to history. He is now the god Alastor. As such, he has a piece of a plane that is all his own, his Domain, just as all Gods have.

Alastor's domain appears to be the combination of a Victorian garden and a hedge maze. It is a series of rose gardens connected by hallway-like corridors made of plants. Navigating these corridors is nearly impossible without Alastor's help. Each rose garden is a different color, and causes those within the garden to experience different emotions.

His favorite section of his gardens is his observation room. There is a large pool of shiny silver liquid that can view different areas in the mortal realm. Alastor spends much of his time watching here various mortal pursuits such as wars and bizarre sporting events.

Alastor's Domain is the source of the Festoons de Fervor, which are bouquets made from flowers from several of Alastor's gardens. The roses can be used to influence the feelings and emotions of those around the bearer of the bouquet. Alastor is very careful about distributing these bouquets, as they are quite powerful. He does tend to give out single roses to visitors, friends, and persons of interest to him. These roses are eternally in bloom and have very limited emotional power on their own.

Session 6: That's Animist, That Is! Rocks Are People Too!

  • Session starts with us outside the temple of Doom.
  • Aed teleports us to Xanadu's docks. (Huzzah, we don't die of teleport failure!)
  • Janan and Kheriim argue about stones' sentience.
  • Elsewhere in the temple district, a Clockwork Bearverine gets loose and causes mayhem. Soern claims no knowledge of said beast.
  • We find Sigrid fighting and destroying the clockwork bearverine.
  • Sigrid is debriefed on the cup-getting venture.
  • Sigrid holds a conference with Soern, Ghalib, Aed, and Stavros about the cup. Janan and Halden hit the bars. Leif and Kheriim do their things. (?)
    The cup is only mentioned one other time in Ghalib's studies, and that in conjunction with the stone tablet we'd already found.
    The tablet had been a gift to the empire. Pre-Harrid but still subjugated Skaraavan wanted a place to hide it and keep it safe.
  • Soern fills the cup with gold, as referenced in one of the scraps of info Ghalib previously found, and asks its powers, limitations, and capabilities.
  • The cryptic answer: "Life. Death. Prophecy."
  • There is then an argument over who should bleed in the cup, to test that aspect. Ghalib is irritated by powerful adults acting sillier than his youngest daughters, and cuts his hand to provide the blood. Sigrid slices her arm open to see if drinking the silvery elixir will cure her. (It does.) Sigrid then bleeds a pint of blood into the cup, and uses the elixir to heal Gannen of a terrible magical injury (previously unknown of to most present). Gannen is all better! And the Heart of the Sea is no longer acting weird. Oddly, Gannen and Sigrid disappear for the next couple of hours.
  • The next part of the session was spent arguing about what quest the 11th levels would take up next. Possible choices included searching for Blank (lost somewhere in Gorzam), searching for possible Harrid scouts in Xanadu, going to deal with the Harrid problem in Skaraavan, returning to explore more of the tomb of Ozymandias, researching the shadowy bird who talked to Leif, ...
  • Aed, Kheriim, and Leif talk to Soern about the magical shadowy bird. From what Soern says about the power involved, etc., we are Holy Hells! Monala must be behind this! And promptly freak out.
  • We then decide to search for Blank in Gorzam, but by way of the tomb of Ozymandias ( a sort of compromise).
  • Going through the tunnels, we make it to the ice cave without problems, only some strange noises off in the distance.
  • Then we are attacked! And we do furious battle with shadowy crystaline porqupine-like humanoids.
  • Leif nearly dies. A LOT.
  • Leif ends up hitting Janan and Aed with a buffed up explosive crossbow bolt and nearly kills them both. Janan and Aed are Not Happy.
  • We are finally victorious, but Halden is DED. So we decide to go back to Xanadu quick as can be to get him resurrected.

Alession: God of Clockwork Beasts
Eliran: God of Sudden Death
Alanis: God of Not Actual Irony

Firing a ranged weapon through an ally's square is akin to attacking said ally. BAD LEIF.

We must now lobby for a cliched anime featuring time katanas. Because Time Katanas are More Awesome than you.

"ADVENTURER'S GUIDE FOR THE DUNGEON GUY!" -foole, re: craft (interior design)

"Katanas can freeze time!"-me
"No, no, they cut THROUGH time!"-foole
(re: discussion of why katanas are not as useful as western longswords and why anime style cleavage does not actually occur)

...distracted by time katanas. time passed. whoops.

"You appear on the docks. People give you some strange looks, but not too many, because people popping out of thin air is not the strangest thing to happen in Xanadu on a regular basis."-oddysey

"This is more of that verrik elitism, isn't it!"-me, Janan, re: kherriim's lack of respect for stones and/or earth elementals

"One of Soern's creatures got loose! Half moose, half platypus-"-Oddysey
"all deadly!"-me
(re: a clockwork bearverine getting loose in the temple district. Soern claims to have nothing to do with it.)

"Gannen! I have silvery elixir of awesome for you! Yes, it used to be my blood, but it's fine now!"-Artemis, Sigrid

Session 5: In Which Noone Remembers to Take Notes

  • The party sets off on their two month trip to Khorl, the closest port to the Deathwastes, in which there is apparently a temple containing the magic cup we're looking for(according to the stone tablet & Stavros).
  • While en route, Halden has his eighteenth birthday, and there is much rum rejoicing rum and rejoicing.
  • Janan convinces Halden to join him belowdecks. After they...entertained themselves and were on their way back up top, Janan notices the door to their room is magicked in some fashion. Halden does not care and goes on through. (sandwiches!) Nothing appears to happen to either Halden or Janan, so they decide to forget about it.
  • Once they arrive in Khorl, Janan decides to go visit her mam's old brothel. The magic-users decline to come, instead hanging out with Aed in some tavern/inn as he studies the distant mountain in preparation for teleportation.
  • The party landed in what turns out to be Zaz territory. Janan is noticed by a group of Zaz youngsters who attack as soon as they realize a Yarlz lad is in their midst. Stavros and Halden step in to help, and the battle ends with several dead thirteen-year-olds. (It's alright; they had it coming. They attacked us.)
  • The non-magic-users make their way to the brothel. Janan visits with old friends and ends up mysteriously disappearing for a while. Stavros is intrigued by the brothel and Halden disappears (most un-mysteriously) for a while.
  • Stavros and Halden meet back up with the magic-users, but there is still no Janan. Cue argument about looking for him, waiting for him, ditching him, etc.
  • Janan shows up all "Ready to go?" and many people want to slap him.
  • Aed teleports the group. We do not die! Or get split into many pieces across the lands! Huzzah!
  • We arrive at the Rakshasa citadel, AKA the Temple of Elemental Evil (consencrated to Fire, Death, and EVIL)
  • It appears most evil. We explore, but nothing exciting happens until we find an altar. Stavros' approach somehow triggers the opening of a secret door. Clearly, this means we must rush ahead into the dank dark tunnel of DOOM with nary a care.
  • We come into a great big chamber with a ginormous chasm and a stone bridge connecting our side to the other side with an altar and the Magic Cup of Quest-Fullfillment.
  • The magic-users are pragmatic and cautious, staying on the one side and making great plans. The non-magic-users are unsure what the words pragmatic and cautious mean, and blithely make their way across.
  • Halden decides in his infinite wisdom that as this is a temple of fire, blood, and evil, that it would totally be the best plan to bleed into the magical cup.  Luckily, this appears to do nothing besides create a silvery sort of substance.
  • Aed decides in his infinite wisdom to use magic! to lift the cup up and transport it to the other side.
  • We are then attacked by shadowy skeletons.  Many of them. Clearly the timing of this was completely coincidental.
  • Victory is ours, but we all suffer injury, particularly Stavros who finds himself rather near death.  However, when he touches the cup, it heals him.
  • We then chill outside the temple waiting for Aed to prep his teleport spell.

This party is rather polarized, but at least the two sides are even in number, even if the non-magic-users have to make do with an awesome npc rather than a third pc.

"It's like hobbits and birthdays, only with Russians and drinking!"-Qwerty, re: Halden's bday celebration

[re: discussion about Halden & his swift strike not being usable in sexual relations]
"It requires a weapon focus"-Artemis
"It has one. Longsword."-Artemis
"Not like that!" -Artemis

"But why is she cockblocking me?" -Boytoy, Halden, re: Kheriim's possessiveness

"The thing about humans you have to understand is that they do everything different.  The one thing that is the same is that they do everything different." -Qwerty, Stavros

"I'm drunk. I'm Italian.  It happens." -foole, re: suddenly emerging accent

"See, this is how you do this!   You warn them, they go ahead and do it, and then later you go, ha ha! See!  I told you so!" -Qwerty, Stavros, to Kheriim

"I do not see why I would not go with them.  Khorl seems to be nice place?"-Qwerty, Stavros

"He was lost but now is found! Is like blind and wrenches."-Qwerty, Stavros, re: reappearance of missing Janan